Save Your Relationship

16 Ways to Save Your Relationship
By: Mike Zimmerman

1. After your next screaming match, right before the makeup sex, don't bother with the "I love you" cliché. Just tell her, "You know, you're the only person I'd ever tolerate talking to me like that. You're that amazing."

2. No screaming matches lately? Have one, fast. If she's screaming at you, she still gives a damn. Silence from a woman means something has died. (Or will die. Tonight. In his sleep.)

3. Drop this bomb: "You remember the time we [insert personal-best sex saga here]? I bet we could do even better."

4. Thinking about leaving her? Think about this first: No woman is perfect. The next one you pick up could indeed be cooler, hornier, and wealthier. But you'll soon grow tired of her crap, too.

5. Maul her for 10 seconds when she least expects it. A mini-maul here, a mini-maul there. Next thing you know, you'll have a strip-maul.

6. All the stuff you'd want after a breakup—nights on the town, drop-of-a-hat vacations, those long-put-off season tickets—you can enjoy right now. With a built-in date. So pick something fun and do it.

7. Learn a new sport together—like golf or fencing—that encourages you to admire each other's form.

8. As you ask your buddy for counsel on your girl's dropping temperature and increasing distance, did it ever occur to you to ask her?

9. Go Gomez Addams on her. Speak Spanish. Dance the Mamushka. Kiss her from her wrist to her armpit. Blow up a train set together. Cara mia!

10. Commit an unsolicited act of cleanliness.

11. This weekend, take her to the grocery store to buy ingredients for a great dinner. Also pick up food specifically earmarked as body paint.

12. You're both 10 excess pounds away from feeling good about yourselves again. Drop 'em together. It'll be you and her against the world, just like old times.

13. You haven't offered up a late-night postcoital confession in a very long time. Surprise her.

14. Reinstate one courtesy toward her that's been lost since your courtship: opening the car door for her, bringing her flowers, holding in your gas.

15. Organize a cheesy diamond-commercial moment—like reproposing to her at Trafalgar Square in front of family. Overwrought? Yeah, but do the math: jewelry + effort + pigeons + her parents = months of rough sex.

16. Tried everything on this list and she's still unresponsive? It's time to smile, hold her hand, and offer her these five risky words: "Now it's up to you."

Feel Happy at Work

How to Feel Happy at Work - 7 Secrets of a "Thank God It's Monday" Workplace
What accounts for the difference between "Oh crap, it's Monday" and "Thank God it's Monday"? It's your happiness. And, for your own emotional and mental health, you need to feel happy at work.

It all boils down to seven habits that can change everything about the culture of your workplace.

1. Show up fully and commit with all your heart
At work, we think of home. At home, we think of work. Time to stop that. The first step toward a TGIM workplace is being present and accounted for at work. Thinking about being elsewhere leads to resenting where you are.

While you are at work, commit to work with all your heart. This is what I call throwing your heart over the bar--committing 100 percent to the moment and task before you.

2. Communicate clearly
Use powerful and positive language about what you will do and the attitude you expect from others. If a TGIM workplace is your goal, take the time to make your communications clear on every level.

3. Go beyond the job description
Going beyond the job description happens when you pitch in and help others at work without expecting reward. Willingly share the load. If you're caught up on your tasks, help someone else who is crunching for a deadline. Instead of feeling like it's an extra burden, you will actually feel like you play a bigger role in your company than you ever did before.

4. Don't tolerate dysfunctional behaviors
Establish a zero-tolerance policy for talking behind another person's back. Then give each other permission to address conflict head-on, out loud, courageously and honestly. Create a trusting and open environment and watch the dysfunction ebb away.

5. Clean up your messes
Relationships are built on trust. Without that foundation, there is no basis for a relationship. We breach the trust each time we don't do what we said we would do. But here's the thing--that breach can be healed quickly IF you come back and clean up the mess. Acknowledge that the results are not okay then make a commitment to make things right and prevent a recurrence.

6. Live a life of profound service
Once you place yourself in the service of those around you--your family, your colleagues and your customers--every moment becomes imbued with purpose and significance. You will feel GOOD.

As you drive to work, begin thinking about how the work you do is serving others and contributing to their success and happiness. This is the essence of true service, and the key to a workplace that draws you happily back, Monday after Monday after Monday.

7. Celebrate
Every project consists of little steps and little victories along the way. Recognize and celebrate them in both large and small ways. Build a system of celebrations and rewards--quarterly, weekly, daily--and follow through like your company's life depends on it. Because, (psst) it does.

Acquire these seven habits and spread them through your workplace. Then be sure to notice the first Monday your hand reaches for the alarm--and you smile. You can love your job and feel happy at work if you follow these 7 secrets.

About the Author
Roxanne Emmerich is renowned for her ability to transform the "ho-hum" attitudes of leaders, executives, business owners and entrepreneurs just like you into massive results-oriented "bring-it-on" attitudes. To discover how you can get motivated and love your job again, check out her new book – Thank God It's Monday. Now, you can get a free sneak preview at: http://www.thankgoditsmonday.com/preview_the_book/

How to Set Your Goals

If you find the conventional information is not usable?
Knowing our goals makes it much more likely we will attain them. After all, if we don't know what we want, how can we attain it? Experts tell us that those who set goals do so much better than those who don't. Yet many of us become confused when asked to state our goals. Our minds go blank. And all this talk of goal setting and goal getting just seems so tedious.

Well - at last - we can take another approach. Now, let's get going and set some goals:
1- What don't you want in your life? At work? At home? If you take the opposite of these, then you have got a list of goals.
2- Instead of saying goals, say results. What results do you want from your life? Does changing that one word make a difference? Can you think of another word more suited to you? For some of us it makes a big difference! Make a list!
3- Suppose you had all your concerns met. Imagine this now. What would you do in your life different from what you do now? Write these down as your list of goals, or results.
4- Think of areas of your life you might consider. For example, health, wealth, love, relationships, work, education, spiritual, etc. Use all the above techniques (1 to 3) in these areas and write down your list.
5- Write your epitaph!

Have you got a list of goals now?
Are you aware of how easy it is to change when you know how to?

Secrets Of Attraction

5 Secrets to Attract The Opposite Sex
By Lisa Daily

Want to quintuple your odds of winning in the dating game?
We surveyed a variety of top experts and learned five unbelievably effective secrets to make the opposite sex come running.

Here's how you can use them to work for you:

1. BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION
Want to be the one who gets noticed? Stand in the center of the room. According to Dr. Albert Mehrabian, the author of several books and nationally-known expert in the field of spacial psychology, where you are in a room (and what you're doing) has a lot to do with your ability to attract the opposite sex.

Where should you be for the highest impact and the greatest number of interested cuties? Smack-dab in the center of the room, standing up and moving around a bit. (But don't pace a track on the carpet for goodness sake...) If you're in a bar or nightclub, the best place to be is at one of the corners on the bar. Not only will you meet more people, but, according to Mehrabian, bartenters tend to gravitate toward the corners as well.

Interesting conversation AND a full drink? You'll feel like you've died and gone to dating heaven. The worst place to be seen? Hanging out near the wall or sitting at a table. That hot stranger approaching your table and asking "may I join you" only happens in the movies.

2. THE COLOR LURE
What color can you wear to compel the opposite sex to approach you?

According to Color Consultant Leatrice Eiseman, Director of the Pantone Color Institute and author of Colors For Your Every Mood, women are attracted to men wearing the color blue. And why wouldn't we be? According to Eiseman, guys who frequently wear blue are "stable, faithful, constant and always there." The blue guy is a fantastic candidate for a long-term relationship -- someone who's dependable, momogomous and can match his own clothes.

And what about the ladies? Eiseman says women should wear a pink- peach to make themselves most approachable. The color is "very flattering to most skin tones, it gives you healthy glow," and according to Eiseman, projects "a little vulnerability which brings out something protective in men."

Want to wear a color that weeds out guys who can't handle strong women? Try a deep red, burgundy or plum. Men who aren't attracted to strong women will steer clear.

Of all the colors, red is the most sensual. But, wear red with caution. "Red is the color of sex and power," says Eiseman. Red adds an element of excitement and attracts two types of men - men interested in sex, and men attracted to powerful women. Sure, you'll probably have to fend off a lot of freaks, but you could also end up attracting a guy that isn't threatened by the fact that you make a bigger salary.

Concerned your wardrobe is driving people away? Stay away from what Eiseman calls "squished caterpillar yellow-green" which is said to repel both sexes equally.

3. BODY TALK THAT REELS 'EM IN
How do you use body language to attract the opposite sex?

If you're a woman, the key is to make yourself approachable. According to nationally-respected body language expert and professional speaker, Patti Wood, you want to make yourself a "safe" (read approachable) target. How do you accomplish that? Don't take up a lot of space (which is a sign of power and superiority.) Wood says, "we are strong women, but remember, we're trying to get a man to come over and talk to us." She explains, "you have to show you have room for someone else in your life."

In addition, Wood says "to be very approachable women should stand with their feet no farther than 6 inches apart with toes pointed slightly inward. " Other key moves, the nod and the head tilt - signal you're listening to what the other person has to say.

For men, appearing more dominant effectively draws the attraction of women. To attract women, stand with your feet 6-10 inches apart, and toes pointing outward. Feel free to take up some space. For men who are victims of the "nice guy" badge, or who appear to be too submissive to attract women, try taking your Y chromosome out for a spin. According to Mehrabian, men should "try wearing bulkier or more conservative hairstyles or clothing," hold your head up, and speed up your speech and gestures to be more assertive.

Body language tips for both sexes: Don't fold your arms and don't chew on gum, ice or your fingernails. According to Wood, the chewing indicates anxiety or frustration, neither of which are very attractive emotions.

4. THE POWER OF A SMILE
Psychology and body language experts agree that one of the most important things you can do to make yourself more attractive (and approachable) is to smile. Not a great big plastic game-show smile, just your normal "I'm having a great time and I'm happy to be here" face will do the trick. According to Wood, "the smile is the international signal of friendliness."

5. TEMPTING WITH SCENT
Studies show that men associate the scents of cinnamon and vanilla with love. To make the scents work for you, try baking some ready-made cinnamon rolls about an hour before your date arrives, or, wear a cinnamon-vanilla scented perfume (there's a fabulous vanilla perfume called "Dulce Vanilla " ). Aromatherapy experts have long-believed cinnamon to be an aphrodisiac.

According to Laura Davimes, aromatherapy and herb expert , and owner of Herban Avenues, "certain aromatic plants exude oils similar to our own sexual secretions or pheromones. Wearing cinnamon/vanilla blends increases the presence of pheromone-like substances and dramatically increases attraction."

The scent of a woman? Women, according to a recent study, are attracted to a black licorice scent. So, be sure to pick up licorice or Good 'n Plenty at the theater snack bar. And, if you're at a club and happen to spill a little Jaggermeister on your shirt, don't worry about the stain, just consider it your lucky night.

Body Language Counts!

Learn About Body Language....!

Body Language
Being able to successfully judge whether or not your date is attracted to you and enjoying your company can be tricky. However, there are clues in the body language which you can use to find out whether your date will be hoping for a goodnight kiss at the end of the night. If your date displays a cluster of the signs below, it is likely that they're more than just a little bit interested in you...

Positive positioning
As strange as it may sound, your date's feet will give a lot away, more specifically, the direction in which they're pointing. So if they are aimed towards you, as opposed to the exit, you can safely assume that his/her attention is focused on you.

"Open" gestures
Unfolded arms will typically indicate that your date is comfortable in your company and willing to open up to you. Similarly, upturned palms during conversation will show that your date is genuine and not closed off. However, bear in mind that your date may cross their arms, or clench their fists if they're feeling cold!

Leaning
If your date leans in towards you it's a positive sign. You shouldn't be afraid to "mirror" this action by leaning towards them to meet them halfway. You can also subtly mirror other positive bodily cues, like smiling and head tilting.

Smiling and laughing
This body language is pretty obvious, and provides a clear indication that your date is enjoying your company, particularly if he/she is in stitches at your repertoire of terrible jokes! Smiling can be very powerful because a smile is never straightforward. If your date is attracted to you, their smiling is likely to become coy and playful rather than merely friendly and welcoming.

Head tilting
Head tilting is a great way of telling whether or not you're captured your date's interest. If your date tilts their head to the side it's a positive indicator of attentiveness. However, if your date's head is pointing downwards or turning to allow them to look around the room, it's likely that your conversation is boring!

Raised shoulders
Raised shoulders typically accompany the leaning posture, and exhibit interest and attraction. In everyday interactions, women commonly raise their shoulders as a reaction to something which is cute or charming. So guys, if she does it when you're around, it can only be a good thing.

Posture
When flirting, men and women will naturally adopt a posture which emphasises their masculinity or femininity. Men tend to stand tall with their chest forward, while women subconsciously adopt a pose which shows off their feminine features such as their hips or chest.

Playing
Women will often play with something, such as their jewellery, their hair or their wine glass when they're attracted to a man. However, guys, be careful not to confuse this with fidgeting which is a sign of boredom! Positive playing will be slow and hypnotic, whereas fidgeting will be fretful and annoying.

Excuse touching
During your date, if the person you are with is enjoying your company, he/she will casually touch you to test the water. For example, he/she may touch your wrist during conversation, or touch your hand "accidentally" when you both reach for the menu, and so on. You might like to try this "excuse" touching yourself if you're attracted to someone but feel unsure of how they feel about you. If they don't pull away from your touch, and initiate similar "excuse" touching, it's looking good!

The gaze
When we see a possible dating opportunity, we tend to "eye-up" the person concerned. This involves casting our eyes over the other person's eyes, then looking at their lips, then down towards their body, and back up to meet their gaze. This is likely to be a rapid process, but if you catch your date checking you out on more than one occasion, it's more than likely they're enjoying the view!

Prolonged eye contact
If your date is making frequent and prolonged eye contact, it is a positive sign of their attraction to you. Your date's pupils are also likely to dilate if they're feeling the love. Watch out for whether your date uses the flirtatious "come to bed" look where the head is tilted downwards and the eyes are looking up towards you, as another positive indication of attraction.

Lip gazing/Biting
You may notice your date looking at your lips on several occasions, particularly if they're hoping for a kiss! Women will sometimes subconsciously bite their lip while flirting with a man as a sign of attraction.

Breathing patterns
When your date is really feeling the sparks fly as the attraction intensifies, their breathing will become slower and heavier. This happens during the lust phase, and is more likely to occur further into the relationship as opposed to on the first date, unless the initial sexual chemistry is explosive!

Ready to kiss
Knowing whether or not someone would like to be kissed is often tricky. If you've noticed your date displaying a fair amount of the bodily cues above, particularly the excuse touching behaviour, they could well be hoping for a kiss. So, if your date is standing close to you (closer than a friend/family member would usually stand), gazing into your eyes and looking at your lips a lot, has their lips are parted, and seems to be lingering a while, it's likely that they're after your killer kiss.

How to Tell if She Likes You

Do you know HOW to flirt?
Do you know if you ARE flirting (could you be accidentally flirting)? 

The following actions are considered to be REAL flirting indicators - check them out and see if you're sending (and receiving) the right message:

How to tell she likes you:
1- She gazes in your eyes with deep interest and her pupils are dilated.
2- Her skin tone becomes red while being around you.3- Her crossed leg is pointed towards you or if that same leg is rocking back and forth towards you.
4- She raises or lowers the volume of her voice to match yours.
5- She rubs her chin or touches her cheek. This indicates that she's thinking about you and her relating in some way...
6- She winks at you while talking to you or winks at you from a distance.
7- She exposes the palms of her hand facing you.
8- Biting of the lips or showing of the tongue, licking her lips or touching of her front teeth....
9- She starts sitting straight up and her muscles appear to be firm.
10- She puts her fingernail between her teeth.
11- She laughs in unison with you.
12- She touches your arm, shoulder, thigh, or hand while talking to you.
13- Plays with her jewelry, especially with stroking and pulling motions.  
14- She twirls her hair around her fingers while she is looking at you.
15- Eyebrows raised and then lowered, then a smile usually indicates interest in you.
16- While talking to you, she rests an elbow in the palm of one hand, while holding out her other hand, palm up.
17- In a crowd she speaks only to you and focuses all of her undivided attention on you.
18- While talking to you, she blinks more than usual, fluttering her eyelashes.
19- Big smiles with upper and lower teeth showing with a relaxed face.  
20- She speeds up or slows down her speaking to match yours.
21- She rubs her wrists up and down.

Is it Love???

Love or Infatuation
"You can tell that it's infatuation when you think that he's as sexy as Paul Newman, as athletic as Pete Rose, as selfless and dedicated as Ralph Nader, as smart as John Kenneth Galbraith and as funny as Don Rickles. You can be reasonably sure that it's love when you realize he's actually about as sexy as Don Rickles, as athletic as Ralph Nader, as smart as Pete Rose, as funny as John Kenneth Galbraith and doesn't resemble Paul Newman in any way--but you'll stick with him anyway." -Judith Viorst

(1) Do I treat the other person as a person or a thing?
If you go out with him/her because he/she is good looking (a "prize" to be with) or a way out (a ticket to the movies), that isn't love.

(2) Would you chose to spend the evening alone with him/her if there were no kissing, no touching, and no sex?
If not, it isn't love.

(3) Are the two of you at ease and as happy alone as you are with friends?
If you need other friends around to have a good time, it isn't love.

(4) Do you get along?
If you fight and make up a lot, get hurt and jealous, tease and criticize one another, better be careful, it may not be love.

(5) Are you still interested in dating or secretly "messing around" with others?
If so, you aren't in love.

(6) Can you be totally honest and open?
If either or both of you are selfish, insincere, feel confined, or unable to express feelings, be cautious.

(7) Are you realistic?
You should be able to admit possible future problems. If others (besides a parent) offend you by saying they are surprised you are still together, that you two seem so different, that they have doubts about your choice, better take a good look at this relationship.

(8) Is either of you much more of a taker than a giver?
If so, no matter how well you like that situation now, it may not last.

(9) Do you think of the partner as being a part of your whole life?
If so, and these dreams seem good, that is an indication of love.

First Date Tips

10 First Date Tips for Men
By Lauren Frances

Men often complain that women are mysterious, complicated creatures who are difficult to please. In truth, most women are quite easily pleased from a date one once you know how to make them feel desired, safe, and inspired. These 10 tips will ensure you put your best foot where it belongs... forward!

#1: A first date should be light, fun and romantic. A real first date is when you've both decided that you'd like to get together for more than a quick beverage. The female definition of a first date is this: You pick her up and make reservations. Any deviance from this time-tested formula is usually a red flag, and not what most females consider a proper first date.
Romantic Rule: Starbucks doesn't count! Considerate and smart men make plans well in advance. 

#2: A long lead time. Considerate and smart men make plans well in advance. Considerate and smart men make plans well in advance. They know that women like to be treated like they're too in demand to have huge holes in their social calendars, (even if you have intel that would suggest otherwise!) You'll create romantic tension by giving her several days to look forward to seeing you. Besides, this creates the secret ingredient of seductive success... anticipation.
Romantic Rule: Create romance by planning in advance for it.

#3: Actions speak louder than words. Women know that men invest in the things that they value with whatever resources they have at their disposal, be it cash, creativity, energy, or enthusiasm. If you make plans that are insultingly casual, it's a clear sign that you're withholding your approval from her. Women will take this lackluster performance seriously, and often shoo you away without further ado. You don't have to spend big bucks, but if you like her, why not come up with something that will delight her?
Romantic Rule: The plans you make for her, tell her the plans that you have for her!

#4: A confirming call. Being vague about your plans will only cause most women needlessly anxiety. If you men had any idea about the pre-date regime that women go through to get ready for a high priority date, you'd all be much more on top of this one. When you call to confirm your first date late, she'll be irritated and stressed-out even if she doesn't show it.
Romantic Rule: Having good manners will make her feel like you're a great bet, and not a deranged stranger.

#5: A lovebird lands on her doorstop at the appointed time. It's bad form for a man to keep a woman waiting in general, but especially so on a first date. This often puts women into a state of "dressing disorder." When men are late, most women will just keep changing outfits until the doorbell rings and then be forced to greet you mid-outfit. She'll then blame this on you, the tardy man, who should've arrived on time to avert this crisis!
Romantic Rule: If you'll be delayed longer than 10 minutes, inform her of your new ETA as soon as you can. Most women l appreciate extra time to fluff-up before you ring their bell.

#6: Signal your attraction and approval immediately
Men earn a woman's affection by consistent care and positive attention. On a first date, and every date, women will look for little clues that signal your desire. No matter how hot or how homely, she'll want to know that you find her fetching if she's agreed to spend quality time with you. To do this, quickly toss her a compliment. Try the old standby "You look great" or the new metrosexual classic, "Love your shoes" immediately upon your arrival. You'll have set a warm and positive tone and scored an easy point.
Romantic Rule: Quickly inspire romance and put her at ease by paying her a compliment.

#7: Woman are suckers for a man with a plan. Women love men who have the ability to care for them and about them. It's always a good sign when a man has made reservations because it's proof that you're not winging it. When you take control, it's a signal that she can relax and enjoy herself. The typical woman will also be wary of the man who asks in a whiny voice what she'd like to do.
Romantic Rule: Women assume that men who don't make reservations for them, have reservations about them!

#8: Pick up the check. If you're wondering who should pick up the first check. Please consider that women spend wads of money on first dates: there's the bikini waxing (painful), manicures, blow drys (time-consuming), lingerie (expensive), and Pilates (ridiculously over-priced). It's an investment for women to just show up.
Romantic Rule: The very least you can do is to pick her up and feed her. She's exhausted!

#9: Be a class act. If the date was a dud, don't weenie out and say "I'll call you." Just cut her loose by giving her a quick peck on the cheek and say, "Thanks for coming out tonight. It was great meeting you." That'll signal it's a wrap.

#10: Seal the deal. But if she knocked your socks off, walk her to her door, look her in the eyes, say "I had an amazing time tonight" and move in for the perfect nightcap... a goodnight kiss. If she turns her cheek, don't despair! She may not be ready for a liplock just yet. Tell her you want to see her again and set up your next date right then and there.